Glee in the NYC Hotel
by EnglishStudent101
Summary: Crackfic! How Will Schuester is the best chaperone ever and what the members of the glee club did in the NYC hotel before their competition.


Tensions were high between New Directions and Vocal Adrenaline as they both roomed in the same hotel just days before the big competition. Four times a violent Rachel had to be pried off of Jesse St James, two times Puck had stolen something from their rivals, and once had Brittany come to Mr. Shuester complaining that "his son wasn't being very nice". They had checked into the hotel 2 hours ago.

"Now you guys," said Mr. Schuester, staring down the glee club members gathered in the lobby, "I need you all to behave like rational adults. No sneaking into other hotel rooms, " he looked at Puck, "Or sabotaging the other team. " he looked at Rachel. "Behave."

Santana shrugged and stood up, Brittany following. "Let's find some NYC men, alright, Britt?"

"Santana!" Mr. Schuester shouted.

"Joking, Mr. Schue." She said putting her hands up. She gave Brittany a wink even though Brittany was sure not to understand that it meant they were still going to scope out some hot guys.

"We're just gonna chill in our room, Mr. Schue. Call us if you need us!" Santana said lazily, walking down the hallway with Britt. Instead of heading to the room they left the hotel through the back exit, off to find some attractive men to add to their large bank of STD's.

Finn stood up next. "I'm hungry. I'm gonna go get some food." He left in search of the dining room but rather found himself in the kitchen where two especially large women took their time having him sample all their new recipes and fattening him up as much as possible so they could cook him up and eat him later.

"I think I'm hungry too." Rachel said, patting down her skirt as she stood. What she really planned to do was follow Finn around like a stalker. What she actually did was follow Finn around like a stalker. But when the large women discovered her watching them feeding Finn, they chopped her up and added her to a soup to accompany their upcoming Finn-pie.

Tina and Mike put down their bowls of rice and bowed to Mr. Schuester.

"Schue-San we would like to find all the Asian restaurants in the city of New York." Said Mike.

"And then use our calculators to make a ratio of Asian to Italian restaurants. Maybe even make an equation to figure out their amounts of customers per day!" Said Tina.

They both gave an Asian chuckle, clicked their chopsticks together and left the hotel wearing their finest kimonos.

Artie didn't stand because he couldn't stand. "I totally wanna go celebrity hunting! I'm gonna find Eminem and 50 Cent and convince them to sing with me because I'm disabled and celebrities have to be nice to me." In his excitement he wheeled down the steps out of the hotel, forgetting that there was no ramp back up.

He was stuck sitting outside the hotel for the rest of the trip because he couldn't get back up the stairs in his wheelchair and everybody forgot about him anyway because he wasn't dating Brittany.

Puck got up from his seat with swagger and said, "I'm gonna go drink and steal some cars." Mr. Schuester gave Puck a thumbs up because he's a badass and can do whatever he wants. Puck actually just spied on changing girls in the hotel and is currently facing a lawsuit.

Sam stood up from the couch and flexed his muscles. "I'm going to go find a gym!" He said, sprinting out the hotel doors. What he actually did was visit the Lancome store and try out all the lipsticks on his huge luscious lips. He really liked _Very Berry._

Lauren rolled up to her room because her legs were tired and ate chips, having sexual thoughts about roast chickens and hamburgers.

Quinn stared at Mr. Schuester from her seat on the couch.

"I'm in a cheating sort of mood and you have some form of intimacy with every female you encounter. Do you want to go to my room and have sex?" She asked in her quiet voice.

"I've been waiting a whole season for you to ask." Mr. Schuester answered before picking her up and bringing her to the room. She got pregnant again. She told Finn he was the father again. He believed her again. And then got made into a pie by the large chef women.

Mercedes remained on the couch in the lobby and watched everything, waiting patiently for her storyline.


End file.
